Co-parenting means that separated parents are jointly and equally responsible for the upbringing and care of their child. The child spends approximately equal time with both parents.
What does co-parenting entail?
In co-parenting, the following applies:
- Both parents share parental authority over the child
- The child resides approximately half the time with each parent
- Care and upbringing are equally divided
- Important decisions are made together
Different forms of co-parenting
| Type | Description |
|---|---|
| Weekly schedule | The child alternates weekly between the parents |
| Half-week division | For example, Monday through Wednesday with one parent, Thursday through Sunday with the other |
| 2-2-3 arrangement | Two days with parent A, two days with parent B, three days alternating |
| Birdnesting model | The child stays in one house, parents alternate |
Conditions for successful co-parenting
Co-parenting often succeeds under these circumstances:
- Good communication and cooperation between parents
- Short distance between the parents' residences
- Both parents have sufficient time and space for the child
- The child can adjust to two living environments
- There is room for adjustments in unexpected situations
Financial aspects of co-parenting
The costs for the child are often divided as follows:
- Each parent pays the costs in their own household
- Joint expenses (such as education and hobbies) are shared
- Child support may be low or nil, or offset
- Child benefit is paid to one parent, with possible offset
Pros and cons of co-parenting
| Advantages | Disadvantages |
|---|---|
| The child maintains a strong bond with both parents | Frequent switching can be heavy for the child |
| The care burden is fairly divided | Good coordination between parents is essential |
| Balance in involvement of both parents | Logistics can be complicated (e.g., due to distance) |
Is co-parenting suitable for toddlers and preschoolers?
For children aged 0-3 years, it is often advised to spend longer periods with one parent due to attachment needs. As the child gets older, a more equal division can be introduced.Can a judge impose co-parenting?
No, a judge cannot impose co-parenting if one of the parents does not want it. However, an extensive contact arrangement can be established that resembles co-parenting.What happens to child benefit in co-parenting?
Child benefit is paid to one parent. Parents can agree among themselves to divide or offset it, but they must arrange this themselves.Frequently asked questions about co-parenting in Utrecht
How do I make co-parenting official?
You can record co-parenting in a parenting plan, which you draft together and have approved by the court. It includes agreements on care, finances, and important decisions. If there is disagreement, the court can impose an arrangement. Ensure clear agreements on, for example, residence and school. A mediator in Utrecht can assist in drafting. Visit the Juridisch Loket Utrecht at Catharijnesingel 55 for advice.
How do I determine child support in co-parenting?
Often, an offset is applied where both parents cover their own costs during the child's stay. Common costs (such as school fees) are shared. The parent with a higher income may contribute. Use guidelines from the Nibud and consult a lawyer in Utrecht for an appropriate arrangement.
What to do if my ex does not comply with the agreements?
Try talking first. If that doesn't work, involve a mediator. For persistent problems, you can go to the Rechtbank Midden-Nederland (Vrouwe Justitiaplein 1, Utrecht) to request enforcement. Document violations and consider legal advice from a family law attorney.
How do I discuss co-parenting with my child?
Be open and reassuring. Explain that both parents love the child equally and that the child has a home with both. Make clear that the child has done nothing wrong. Use a schedule to clarify switch days and give the child time to adjust to the situation.
Can I end co-parenting if it doesn't work?
Yes, co-parenting is not mandatory. If it doesn't work, you can agree on a different arrangement with your ex-partner. If you can't agree, you can ask the court for an adjustment of the care division via the Rechtbank Midden-Nederland in Utrecht.